The second cardinal rule for Internet creators
The first cardinal rule for Internet creators is “don’t read the comments.”
Anyone not living in the stone age knows the reason for this rule. Commenters, taking advantage of anonymity, use the comments section to say mean things. They insult the author. They insult each other. They misinterpret the point of the piece so they can get angry at it. You don’t go to the comments section for constructive criticism or healthy debate. The comments section is like the wall of a middle school bathroom stall: The only thing you get by reading it is hurt feelings. So, Internet creators, don’t read the comments. It’s not worth it.
By the way, I’m using the term “Internet creator” to mean anyone who makes any type of content at all for the Internet, whether that be podcasts, TikToks, YouTube videos, Medium posts, or anything else. If you create any content at all for the Internet (and have any sort of significant following) there is no doubt you’ve heard — and follow — the first cardinal rule.
You may not know there’s a second cardinal rule, and it’s very important you do:
Don’t talk about your private life.
Why is this such an important rule? You may think it has to do with safety, and that’s partly true. If you talk about your private life — your partner, your friends, where you work and/or go to school — people tuning in (who may be forming a parasocial relationship with you) will know information about you that makes it easy to stalk you and/or find out even more information about you and invade your privacy.
But even before it gets dangerous, there’s another consequence. It’s a consequence I’ve heard multiple Internet creators refer to. When you talk about your private life, it starts to feel like people are consuming your life for their entertainment. It’s as if you’ve offered up your life as a commodity for others to enjoy. It feels like your life is not your own. It feels like a violation of your boundaries.
There are also more subtle violations of privacy that can occur before blatant violations start. In a way, these can feel more threatening than the IRL violations because these you have no control over. I’ve heard Internet creators talk about followers wondering if they’re pregnant, or if they have a partner, or if they’re saving up to buy a house . . . . the list goes on. Then you start to wonder what else they’re wondering about you. All of these things are, of course, no one’s business. Don’t even invite people to think that they are.
So, second cardinal rule: Don’t talk about your private life.
There’s a third cardinal rule of the Internet:
The internet is forever.
I put this as number three on the list because it’s a principle I both agree and disagree with. Authority figures stressed this rule so much to you when you were younger that you’d think it should be number one. But nope, (in my book, at least) it’s number three. I think it’s a good rule to teach youngsters; things they post can last forever, so don’t post things they might regret. However, I do slightly disagree with the premise.
Like everything else in life, things on the Internet can and do disappear with time.
I never had a MySpace, but if you had one, you probably can’t find it anymore. Or, if you can, about 95% of what you posted has disappeared, and only a few old photos remain. Lots of websites I loved to visit when I was younger (hello, Pottermore) no longer exist. Facebook, while it still exists, definitely does not have the same content as it had 10 years ago.
Also, the older something gets, the less relevant it becomes. Anyone with any influence will have a hard time making a huge problem for you out of a video you posted seven years ago. On the Internet, anything more than a year old might as well be ancient history.
That’s not to say there can’t be consequences for things you post. When the Internet mob comes for you, they have no problem bringing up ancient history if it means they can tear you down with it. And people can choose to save copies of things you delete. So it’s still a good rule to keep in mind, it’s just third on the list.
But anyway, those are the three cardinal rules for Internet creators, and it’s the second one that is not widely known and/or stated explicitly that needs to be communicated more. So here you go. Enjoy and be safe.